College Daughter Daycare will take good care of your freshman daughter.

No! I don't wanna go back to school.

The awkward moment when you realize what the sound of nature actually is.

“Siri I need to get laid.” I guess Siri is a pimp now too.

Alcohol: It's cheaper than therapy.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the fast food of America and to the obesity for which it stands.