The awkward moment when you realize what the sound of nature actually is.

“Siri I need to get laid.” I guess Siri is a pimp now too.

Alcohol: It's cheaper than therapy.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the fast food of America and to the obesity for which it stands.

In the UK the word 'pulp' does not exist, so they have to settle for 'bits.'

I just wanted to talk about your iPhone 6 for sale.