Motorboating magazine looks great on the rack.

I might get up and go jogging today. I also might win the lottery.

He said he didn't have to go to the bathroom.

Lazy sloth advises you to, just do it...later.

When he woke up he probably thought his prankster friend was a real jerk off.

Why argue if the glass is half full or half empty? Just drink the freaking wine.