I might get up and go jogging today. I also might win the lottery.

He said he didn't have to go to the bathroom.

How I think I look when I don't shave for awhile.

Without pets, life can be boring.

Hope they understand that Princess Leia is Darth Vader's daughter and that inbreeding is bad.

Why argue if the glass is half full or half empty? Just drink the freaking wine.