It's so damn hot but just be thankful you aren't a corn on the cob.

Failed my drivers test after instructor asked what I do at stop lights.

Cat forgot how to cat but knows how to duck.

If you get an email with an attachment saying it is Kanye West singing Bohemian Rhapsody do NOT open it.

If you're happy and you know it crap your hands.

Forgiveness is like swallowing when you want to spit according to this Church.