If you want everybody to know you're offended by everything, try this hairstyle.

The best ugly Christmas sweater ever.

When the ashtray in your car isn't big enough.

Saving your beer is worth drowning over.

Boy falls from a three-story window, lands on his feet and is not hurt thanks to Superman.

You have an 'Elf on the Shelf'. I have a 'Trooper on the Pooper'.