Things don't always work out the way you had planned

A Mustache Pacifier. Why didn't I think of that?

Make sure not to take a wrong turn on Butt Hole Road or you may end up in a dead end with no lights.

I was always taught to lift with the knees not grab item with one hand while using other hand to squeeze buttocks

Got caught red handed and this is your excuse

This guy must have just heard about the new Cantina Power Burrito