The awkward moment when you realize what the sound of nature actually is.

Alcohol: It's cheaper than therapy.

In the UK the word 'pulp' does not exist, so they have to settle for 'bits.'

I just wanted to talk about your iPhone 6 for sale.

I wish my girlfriend was as dirty as our politicians.

Goodwill just got much cooler after seeing this, “I wear your grandad's clothes” sign.