Clint Eastwood shooting you with Morgan Freeman narrating would be the best way to die....ever.

A wife is like a hand grenade.

It's so damn hot but just be thankful you aren't a corn on the cob.

Do not disturb this guy. He is on a tight schedule.

Don't know Karate but I know how to use a baseball bat.

If you get an email with an attachment saying it is Kanye West singing Bohemian Rhapsody do NOT open it.