Art Teacher: “Ok Class paint a margarita on a tropical beach.” Student: “No thanks, I like trees.”

College Daughter Daycare will take good care of your freshman daughter.

No! I don't wanna go back to school.

“Siri I need to get laid.” I guess Siri is a pimp now too.

Every other vegetable sucks compared to the potato.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the fast food of America and to the obesity for which it stands.