When I wear a tight shirt. How I feel vs How I look.

Walmart: 37 checkout lanes. 2 cashiers. Why?

If my casket ever gets taken in a Prius, just shoot me...oh wait.

Why Jeb? Why did 86,000 campaign mailers get sent showing Jeb Bush with a white hand and black hand?

When my dog begs for food he blows slobber bubbles.

“Siri I need to get laid.” I guess Siri is a pimp now too.