What is the difference between a calendar and you?

And she still yells at me when I leave the toilet seat up.

Have you ever driven away from a gas station after filling up with the nozzle still in your tank?

What is this guy waiting for!? Just take the damn picture already!

Kanye West said, "Beck needs to respect artistry". Here is how they both stack up in that department.

Farted on the bus today and 4 people turned around....